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Discussion Starter #1
Keep it kind of clean,, this is in the general section



HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK...

1. Open a new file in your computer.
2. Name it ‘Barack Obama’.
3. Send it to the Recycle Bin.
4. Empty the Recycle Bin.
5. Your PC will ask you: ‘Do you really want to get rid of ‘Barack Obama?’
6. Firmly Click ‘Yes.’
7. Feel better?

GOOD! - Tomorrow we’ll do Nancy Pelosi.

 

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A man went to the dentist with an severe tooth ache. Upon examining him, the dentist informed him that the tooth was too decayed to do anything with and would have to be pulled. The man agreed to the procedure and the dentist began preparing to pull the tooth. When the dentist took out the syringe to inject novacaine, the man abruptly stopped him saying, "I'm deathly afraid of needles. You're going to have to find another way to deaden it." The dentist shrugged and said, "No problem." He then grabbed a mask from a nearby cart and began turning on valves to administer laughing gas. Again, the man abruptly stopped him and said, "I'm claustrophobic. I can't deal with that mask covering my face. You're going to have to find another way to deaden it." At this point, the dentist had become frustrated with the man. Having no idea what to do next, he excused himself from the room. After about ten minutes, he returned with a glass of water and a small paper cup containing a single blue pill. He handed both to the man and told him, "Here, take this." The man asked the dentist, "What's this?" The dentist replied, "Viagra." The man was amazed. He had heard of Viagra being good for all sorts of ailments aside from its intended use, but this was big news. He exclaimed, "Wow! I didn't know Viagra was good for pain too!" The dentist gave him a stern look and dryly replied, "It's not. I just want to give you something to hold on to while I pull that damn tooth."
 

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The Origin Of the White wedding dress.


Son asked his mother the following question:
'Mom, why are wedding dresses white?' The mother looks at her son and replies:
'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.'
The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.
'Dad why are wedding dresses white?'
The father looks at his son in surprise and says:

'Son, all household appliances come in white.'
 

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Discussion Starter #5
The Origin Of the White wedding dress.


Son asked his mother the following question:
'Mom, why are wedding dresses white?' The mother looks at her son and replies:
'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.'
The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.
'Dad why are wedding dresses white?'
The father looks at his son in surprise and says:

'Son, all household appliances come in white.'

ROTFLMAO,,, :rofl:
 

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Discussion Starter #7
^^ So true
 

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Two guys were sitting in a small boat fishing. One asks the other for a light and the other hands him a HUGE lighter. The fisherman laughs and asks him what the hell he's doing with a lighter that big. The other fisherman tells him the genie in the whiskey bottle in the back of the boat got it for him. "pop that cork out and give it a try if you don't believe me" he says. The other fisherman opens the bottle and poof, out popped a genie. He told the genie "I want a million bucks" and instantly a million ducks appeared. The fisherman confused, said to the other " but I asked for a million bucks" in which he replied " Do you think I asked for a 12" Bic'????????
 

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Discussion Starter #14
I think his math is off,

A slight tax increase cost you over $1,000.00 and a substantial tax cut only cost you $500.00?
 

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^^^^^^ more like it!
 

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Top Ten Country Western Songs.
10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine
9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With A Few
8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me
7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin'
6. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win
5. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here
4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him
3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger
2. She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer
And the Number One Country & Western song is...
1. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day
 

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Discussion Starter #19
 

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A woman says to her husband "I want a divorse, I'm leaving you to become a hooker. I can make $400 for what I give to you for free" The husband looks at his wife and says " I'm coming with you, I want to see you live on $800 a year"
 
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